big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
try to milk me bitch
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