He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
