its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
