you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
