i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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