Duck Duck Cougar?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
