You made me cry and you don't even care
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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