On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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