No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
