i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
