I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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