i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
