that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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