I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
