you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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