Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
