Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
