Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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