Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
