Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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