I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
