Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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