do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
