So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
