you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
