she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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