I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
