i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
