Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think i have two assholes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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