I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
