Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize