A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize