I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
