Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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