Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
