I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
