my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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