guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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