you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
