whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's rum buckets o'clock
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize