I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize