all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
