we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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