I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
