jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
