Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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