well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize