Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I love you. Go after that dick
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
