I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
