ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
