Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
