Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize