I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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