And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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