I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
