chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
