I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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