It's just like the Real World with babies
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
