Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
