margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This house was built for laser tag.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
