Non-Jews are for practice
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
