Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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