You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she peed on how many people?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
