I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
